Why you feel lonely but lack the energy to make new connections

That feeling is more common than we think. We care about the people in your life, and, yet, we want more. We want more closeness, more plans, more meaning; but, finding the energy to send that text or make that phone call feels increasingly more exhausting. When you’re juggling the growing stressors of work and daily life wanting connection and resisting it can be a constant battle.

Here’s Why

Of all the United States, half of adults say often or some of the time that they have experienced feeling isolated from others , lacking companionship, or feeling left out making it a part of distinctive part of American life, according to the most recent American Psychological Association’s Stress In Americareport. Additionally, seven out of ten report they have higher emotional support needs. There also has been a concerning overlap between those expressing feelings of disconnection or loneliness with those who reported struggles with the well-being, both physical and mental.

What’s causing the stress?

According to the same study, the stressors have remained relatively constant from last year to this year and include the future of the nation, economy, work, and money topping the list. However, the speed of technology advancing has led to an increase in stressors regarding the spread of misinformation and concern with increased usage of artificial intelligence from last year, particularly for parents, school aged children and adults aged 18-44. Another personal big stressor, work. If it feels like, work has felt harder and less fulfilling, you aren’t alone. In one study, almost 7 out of 10 Americans reported that work was a significant burden. Numbers have not been this high since May of 2020! The study indicated a greater disconnect between workplace demands and personal well-being may account for the increase.

With the greater productivity demands, people are finding work less purposeful with many people rethinking what gives them meaning and purpose. Work has moved closer to the bottom of the list despite how much time it takes up in our lives.

What tops the list?

Relationships.

A whopping 92% of people listed relationships as an enduring source of meaning in their lives.Family (77%) friends (62%) top the list with romantic relationships (47)% and pets (39%) rounding it out. Those who reported less loneliness were more likely to express derived meaning from friends and family than those who reported higher loneliness levels. This indicates that the more connected we feel, the more we find purpose in our relationships. In other words, if we don’t find meaning or purpose in relationships it may be because we do not feel connected. Other areas of meaning included health &wellbeing and financial security.

The trouble…

Stress has impacted our energy levels. We know this..and can feel this. The study also shows that the more we feel lonely the higher likelihood that we will

• cancel social plans,

• experience difficulty planning of the future

• experience difficulty making decisions

• struggle with caring for ourselves and our responsibilities

The hope….

The resiliency of the American people. _______84% said they believe they can still create a good life, even if it looks different from past generations. This belief was especially strong among those who felt more socially connected. Adults with low loneliness levels were significantly more likely to express confidence in their ability to build a good life (88%), compared with those with moderate (83%) or high (77%) loneliness levels. These findings suggest that emotional connection and community play a key role in sustaining optimism and resilience. When it comes to their own lives, most adults feel a sense of agency: 77% reported having a great deal/some control over their future. And nearly three-quarters (74%) said they believe it is possible to achieve their dreams and goals. That belief appears to be closely tied to mental health — those who said their dreams were achievable were twice as likely to rate their mental health as excellent or very good (56% vs. 27% of those who do not think it is possible to achieve their dreams).___ rewrite all of this

This information tells us a lot about how we are doing but invites us to look at how we are connecting and finding purpose. We need meaningful support now more than ever and this study states the need “has never been more urgent.” If you need help finding meaningful support, navigating relationships, purpose, or would like better tools to address wellbeing we’re here to help. Contact Briargrove Family Counseling for compassionate support and guidance for better coping with our constantly changing world.

American Psychological Association. (2025). Stress in America™ 2025: A crisis of connection. https://www.apa.org/pubs/reports/stress-in-america/2025/full-report.pdf.